A TALE OF TWO WOMEN

LIFE IS FULL OF CHOICES
On spotting the Real McCoy

It was the worst of times..... No, that’s it. It was the worst of times. I mean, we were in
the midst of the Neocon revolution. It was definitely not the age of wisdom. I mean, how wise was that one guy who said, “…tis a far, far better thing I do,” as he was fitted to a guillotine, for God’s sake. Carlton, I think it was – but whoever, we are not talking about the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

ANYWAY … the invasion of the offending country of Potta-me was on, the struggle to remove the ruling regime to get at their minerals was in full swing. The rockets were firing, the bombs were bursting in air (I think we got that idea from a song, as I understand it) and it was incredible, for sure. There was a lot of hope in the capitol of BraveFreeland. But not much hope for the people of the other land, which was called Potta-Me. Their cities were burning, their people were dying, and their King with the large jaw was hiding away, safe and secure.

So – as you can see, things were really violent. It was the worst of times. The neocons said they would triumph in two weeks, and the cost for the struggle would be no more than a hundred guineas. They should have named themselves just ‘cons’ cause that was their m.o. – nothing new about what they were doing. They also said we would rejoice in Heaven. Others said we were already halfway to Hell. But that was just the bleak situation on the ground. All of that would soon be greatly alleviated, they told us, because the ruling body had one of the two most famous women ever known. The warlike nation – the Neo-Colonial Conquerors, Neocons for short, had just introduced this famous damnsel to the country, promising she would do whatever it would take.

Her name was Dee. She had been brought to the King by Prince George of the famous Schultz dynasty. The Prince had been a king in the past and was now fashionably retired. Dee hadn’t created any wine from water, or healed any sickly people, but if we were to believe Prince George, she could just about walk on water. Dee was, however, a bit slow to act. I mean, you could call her to come on and help you, and she was not in any hurry to do it. This happened so much, that people would have to bear down on the request, saying ‘Come on, Dee, come on!” After a while – because they had to say it so much, they shortened it, and she became known as “C’mondee.” Soon the superwoman C’mondee was soaring off in airplanes, always waving at the entrance to the plane. It was said that she could take more steps in a short walk than any human being on earth. Well, sure, her steps measured about 6 inches each, so she was hands down the champion in number-of-steps-per-yard-walked. But since she had so many shoes and could play a little piano she was known affectionately as a pretty handy dame, by those who knew her well. She liked that nickname so much she used the initials a lot in her correspondence – signing letters as p h d. But what she really did best was wave at airplanes. And she was greatly appreciated for it by the Neocons.

But just when C’mondee got revved up, in about her third year of waving at planes, the people of PottaMe pulled a fast one. Even though their King with the large Jaw had been defeated and sent to the guillotine, and the troops of PottaMe disbanded, there came to be a ragtag “army” - if you can call it that - of private citizens who then turned on the soldiers of the Neocons. Yep, C’mondee herself said as she came out of a plane just before she waved: “No one could have predicted the citizens would arm themselves and begin killing the Neocon soldiers.” It happened that a former Sultan of NeoColonia had predicted just that – he had warned the Neocons’ ruling body that it would be exactly what would happen. And so it did. And the ruling officer of the Neocons just defended this enormous blunder with a curious sound all his own:
heh-heh-heh. (He was the only one who could make that sound.)

So the invasion dragged on, with the Neocon Armed Forces being micro-managed by the Fellow-of-No-Delicacy. Contrary to all other military wisdom and experience, he insisted on doing things HIS way. One day he was struck in the butt by a baton swung by a Neocon at a parade. The next day they were calling him swelled-bum, or was it bums-swelled? One of the two. Thus it was that swelled-bum, or whatever, managed the invasion and the war, and C’mondee handled the waving at airplanes. She could do this so well, because, as she so often pointed out, she had 1777 shoes. When questioned about the fact that shoes come in pairs – so how could she have an odd number? her answer was always the same: “What? When she was asked why so many? She answered the same way. Strange. And each time she was asked anything at all, the Sultan was heard to utter heh-heh-heh.

Well, this dreary existence reached into it sixth year. All was despair in PottaMe because of the death and destruction there. The despair existed also in NeoColonia – or BraveFreeLand as so many preferred to call it - because of the death of too many soldiers and the destruction of the economy. Well, at the end of the sixth year there was an uprising of sorts. The people called it a ‘Choosing’ when they got together and chose a lot of people by name to be favorites, or something. I know, it’s strange, but that’s what they did. And on this particular ‘Choosing Day,’ lo and behold the people demanded that Bum-swelled be ousted ! They left C’mondee in her job because she could wave so well and had 1777 shoes, but now the Sultan of the country was in real trouble, too. The people didn’t unChoose him at that time, altho’ millions of them said they should have. His reaction was heh-heh-heh. Strange.

ENTER the “non-C’mondee.” The reign of the Sultan and the Neocons dragged into its 8th year with no end in sight of the Invasion of Potta-Me, with more death and destruction. The people of NeoColonia land were getting more and more agitated at the cost to the country, and the lousy economy, and the fact that C’mondee wasn’t waving anymore. That one really hacked the citizenry. The people of Potta-Me were more agitated, actually up in arms, saying to worldwide audiences that the Neocons had made a Mess of Potamee. And in fact the bombing had done just that. They would chant in the square: “mess-o-potamee”, mess-o-potamee”. That was kind of hard to say, and some of the time the words were garbled a bit.

But the end was in sight, although no one in either country could have forecast it. So it was at this time in Neocolonia there appeared a new warrior, who was a rock in every sense of the word. He wouldn’t take defeat for an answer, and constantly repeated his favorite mantra, “Yes we canna.” Mostly shortened to “wecanna’. He even translated it into Spanish which was: si se puede.” Anyway, this stalwart brought with him a female companion, whose name was Hannah. Hannah Wecanna. This woman was the exact opposite of C’mondee in every way. She owned four pairs of shoes. Instead of waving, she just carried a blackberry. She wasn’t slight, she was strong, sinewy, had a very straight-forward air of honesty about her, and man, she could speak. I mean, there are those who can talk, and chat, but this woman could speak, like in public, to groups. And she walked with steps of two and a half feet, like most men. The Neocons recognized her as a real threat to their manipulation of the country because the lawgivers had conferred upon her the title of Harvardiana. Some called her Hannah from Harvardiana, which is where she got her name – no one ever came forth to state her original name, but it didn’t matter. She and the Rock made a formidable pair – Rock Wecanna, and Hanna Harvardiana.

Hannah just simply, and without any fanfare, decided that things in NeoColonia were going to change. She was going to help whoever was best qualified for the title of Sultan, to get it done. And so she did. When the NeoColonia smear machine went into high gear and began to try to smear a candidate, Hannah simply struck them down with class and undeniable logic, and always with a half smile of confidence and honesty.

Her parents were happy at her success, but not surprised. They said she had always been a predictably happy daughter, so she just chose the initials p h d to sign.

She owned four pairs of shoes, if you count the pumps, which she despised wearing. She didn’t fly on planes much, but when she did, she simply got on the plane and took a seat, like all the others, saying goodbye in her Blackberry.

All this time, the present Sultan of NeoColonia was beginning to see the handwriting on the wall. That was another curious thing the Neocon populace did every so often, usually in four year increments, they wrote a lot on the walls. I know, that’s really strange. THEN - In a feeble attempt to dissuade the populace from throwing him out, the Sultan kept murmuring, “…I can protect you – be afraid, heh-heh-heh.” I can keep the nuculars off of you, heh-heh-heh.”

But the people were tired of the same old lies. They were tired of being afraid. One
by one they stood up to say: It’s time for our country to have a nice day. It’s way past time, for a calm revolution, if that’s what it’s going to take. Let’s get on with it now, inspired by the Lady with Grace.

After that, thousands of them just took to the streets, and a swell of millions headed toward the Capitol of Brave Free Land (which had been acting more like WhimperingPrisonerland.) THEN without even one rehearsal, they broke into a victory chant as they marched. From the throats of the people who finally felt free enough to hold up their heads again came this glorious declaration:

Hannah, Hannah, from Harvardiana - From Washington DC, not Indiana
Out of the Bush League, she stately appeared
Laughed at euphemisms everyone feared
Down came the pretense, the ploys and the lies - Hannah just cut them all down to size

What happened next is plain to see - It’s as plain as the nose on your face
Hannah, Hannah, from Harvadiana - A person of wisdom and Grace,
Swept away neos and also the cons- And always with a smiling face.

As the crowd neared the Capitol, one by one the people in this vast number began to spot a face in a window. Too far away, couldn’t tell who it was, but a route leader signaled for everyone to hush. When they did, they heard heh-heh-heh from the window. – and heh-heh-heh.

Hannah looked at The Rock. He looked at her and smiled. And it was the best of times.

Faithfully, in the interest of the American people
Bob